Frequently asked Questions:

What is relational psychotherapy?

Relational psychotherapy is based on the premise that we are essentially social beings.  We thrive on and learn from our relationships across the life cycle. Our sense of self, our emotional and physical health requires connection to other people.

Any two people in a relationship will at times have incompatible needs.  So, disappointment, hurt and anger are an inevitable part of relating.  How we learn to tolerate and adjust to these disappointments is crucial.  We have a need for connection and yet a need for self-protection.

Relational psychotherapy seeks to heal the tension between these two poles, and to integrate them.  It seeks to address and redress the state of tension between longing and fear, between the need for individual strength and the desire for human connection.

Relational psychotherapy also incorporates ideas from feminist family therapy.  This provides an appreciation of the differences in the  life-circumstances and socialization of men and women and the consequent differences in skills, values and expectations that men and women bring to a relationship.

What can I expect if I come to you for individual psychotherapy?

Our approach is a gentle, collaborative exploration of the client’s issues, thoughts, feelings and goals.  The relationship between client and therapist becomes a safe environment in which the client is free to explore new behaviors and forms of self-expression.  In this atmosphere of warmth and respect, the client discovers new aspects of his or her self and finds strength for growth.

How long does therapy last?

The client determines the length of therapy.  Some clients focus on a specific goal and choose brief, problem-solving therapy to meet that goal.  Others choose to continue for some time for deeper self-exploration, and to delve into a wider range of issues.  In couple’s therapy, we advise people to commit to at least ten to  twelve sessions, especially if either partner is considering divorce.

What kinds of individual problems do you work with?

We  help people with depression, anxiety, or panic; issues related to divorce, death, or illness, PTSD; recovery from a trauma; addictions, career and life decisions and transitions, mid-life changes, dealing with difficult people; family formation and adult/child issues.

What can we expect if we come to you for marital or couples therapy?

Our approach is to meet with the two partners together and to maintain an impartial stance, working to help each person learn to listen respectfully to the other.  Once the partners move past blaming and accusing one another, the process can move toward problem solving.  As hostility decreases and satisfaction increases, we help the couple to deepen mutual understanding, affection, and intimacy.

We may meet separately with each partner for some portion of the therapy, depending on the unique situation, and with the consent of the couple.

Can you help us prevent divorce?

Often we help couples prevent divorce.  This works best when the couple seeks therapy before their problems become entrenched.

Can you help me deal with my difficult child?

Yes, we work with difficult and troubled children, children who are angry and challenging as well as children who are fearful and withdrawn.  At the same time, we work with their parents, helping them find more effective ways of working with their children at home.  Our goal is to help parents and children develop more comfortable, empathetic and mutually enjoyable relationships.

 

What methods of therapy do you use?

We are skilled in many therapeutic modalities, including  parts work, guided imagery,  EMDR, and body-oriented psychotherapy.   In collaboration with the client, we choose what works effectively and efficiently.  Generally our methods are problem-solving, humanistic and psychodynamic.   We take into consideration the biology, the psychology, and the social environment of each client as well as his or her practical problems.

What is Parts Work?

Parts are internal representations of different aspects of one’s personality.  Parts can work together in harmony, or can be in conflict.  For example, “Part of me wants to stay and part of me wants to go.”   All of us have “parts.”  This is normal.  Ambivalence or indecision can be resolved by clarifying and experiencing the parts and the interaction among them.

What is Guided Imagery?

Guided Imagery invites the client to direct his or her attention internally and to enter a relaxed, but alert state of consciousness.  The client and therapist dialogue about the images, sensations, emotions, and thoughts that emerge in this quiet, meditative experience.

What is EMDR?

EMDR is an acronym for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing.  It uses eye movements or other forms of bilateral stimulation of the brain, in careful combination with more traditional therapeutic approaches. It helps people process  traumas, negative beliefs, and painful feelings quickly and effectively.  This method often moves people rapidly through difficult, emotionally “stuck” material to relief and resolution.  While it is a relatively new technique, it has been the subject of carefully controlled studies.  Its effectiveness has been clearly demonstrated.

What is body-oriented psychotherapy?

It recognizes that people often experience stress psychosomatically.  It also assumes that many somatic sensations & conditions have a psychological component and/or psychological metaphor.  For example, the very real “pain in the back” may be experienced on the psychological level as “fear of moving forward” in one’s life; Or it may be the result of a fall that occurred due to rushing on the winter’s ice; (stress that impeded caution).  By using body-oriented psychotherapy, we help clients focus on the nonverbal communication of body sensations and reactions in order to discover unique messages that the body attempts to bring to consciousness.

Can you help me cope with elderly family members?

Yes, we help adult children solve the practical problems that arise when elderly relatives become ill or unable to take care of themselves.  And we help  family members deal with the attendant complex emotions.

Will you respect my confidentiality?

Yes.  Our professional ethics require us to maintain a strict rule of client confidentiality.  The only exceptions occur when there is child abuse or when someone’s life is genuinely threatened.  In those cases, we are mandated by law to seek help or report to a governing agency.

Will my health insurance cover my therapy?

This depends on the terms of your HMO or insurance policy.  You might want to check with them before you make an appointment.    We ask for payment from you. We are happy to work with you to provide  the insurance company with the information they need to reimburse you.

Am I likely to find you on the preferred provider list for my insurance company or HMO?

We prefer not to place our name on such panels. We can better maintain our professional independence and integrity as well as client confidentiality, when we deal directly with the client instead of working through a third party.